IMPORTANT NEWS!

I have transferred my blog to Blogger.

Please, please, PLEASE go and follow me there!

http://scatteredfigments.blogspot.com/

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Lx

Rapturously Sinful.

In the second of today’s rapture-shaped posts, I’m wondering what deliciously sinful things you might be getting up to today? You don’t have to worry about the consequences, so what’s on your End Of The World “To-Do” List?

You could spend the day praying, confessing and trying to sneak your way back in to the Big Fella’s good graces…but where’s the fun in that?!

My Recommendations.

Call up the person you have been drooling over and suggest “Going out with a bang”.

Eat everything you usually avoid based on calorie count. 

Throw an End of the World barbecue in which you create wittily named cocktails and appetizers. 

Drink. A lot.

Buy a whole lot of suntan lotion so that you don’t burn in the fiery pit.

Try at least one thing that you always meant to do, but never got around to. 

Comment on this just-for-funzies post so that on my last day, I’ll know someone cared! 😛

What is everyone else getting up to during their (supposed) last day on earth? 🙂

Lx

The end of the world is nigh! So pop on some music, pour yourself a drink and let’s watch the fireworks :P

I’ve been a naughty blogger this week and managed to fall behind in posting my “Numbers Thursday” and “Playlist Friday” posts. In a moment of genius, I’m combining both posts into one, after taking some inspiration from a Twitter trend!

As you may or may not know, today is the Rapture. This is according to some random American fella who posted the news on a billboard and the back of his van… two media which I’m sure bazilion-dollar corporations are now kicking themselves for not having adopted, as Rupture-Dude has certainly drummed up a boat-load of publicity. He he he… “boat load”… get it? That reminds me…I need to build an ark before 6pm…

Anyway! Today, I’m looking for your “Rapture Playlists”. If our numbers are up and we’re going down, let’s go down with suitably apt tunes in our heads!

Here’s my Rapture Playlist so far:

I don’t want to set the world on fire, by The Inkspots. 

This is the teaser trailer for Fallout 3, an awesome game set in a post-apocalyptic dystopia. I love the soundtrack to this game!

In the end, by Linkin Park.

Awesomesauce song!

The final countdown, by Europe.

Well it had to make a playlist like this, don’t you think?

It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine), by R.E.M.

Duh…

So, ladies and gents! What songs make your rapture playlist? Comments please! 🙂

Have a nice day and I’ll post again on the morrow…I hope…

Lx

Being the change.

I’m banned from buying new audiobooks this month, and instead have to wait for my freebie to arrive from audible on the 1st June. So, to fill the silence of my commute, I’m listening to “The Help”, by Kathryn Stockett. Again! You can see a full review of this book here.

One of the themes of this book is change. It’s about seemingly powerless people taking small, dangerous steps in order to change a few things about the attitudes of the world arround them. This is where my thought of the day has come from.

If you could change one thing about the world in which we live, what would it be?

Would you outlaw money, invent some kind of amazing sustainable resource? Maybe you’d make yourself an evil dictator or give anyone magical powers?

I’d love to take the ideas you share here and give them to my Writers’ Club for a session on dystopian utopias! So please, please share some thoughts!

Comment please!

Lx

Grimm Re-Imaginings

In my upper school writers’ club this week, the team and I are going to be re-imagining fairy tales for an adult audience. We’re going to take the Grimm tales and make them even more grim, so to speak. I’m hoping to post some of the work here after they’ve finished, but for now I’m hoping to inspire.

If YOU had to re-write a fairytale for an adult audience, what would you do? Would the big-bad-wolf in Little Red Ridinghood be an abusive father? Would Hansel and Gretel be so high on hallucinogens that they imagined a gingerbread house? Would Cindarella’s prince have a weird foot fetish?

Take the dark tales of childhood and warp them to match the fears of adulthood. What do you get?

Lx

Review: “0.4”, by Mike Lancaster

‘My name is Kyle Straker. And I don’t exist anymore.’ 

Hi. My name is Laura and I am a bookaholic. It’s a serious addiction which means I cannot walk past a “Buy One Get One Free” book offer. If I try to resist such offers, I start to twitch. I break out into a cold sweat and my thumbs start to flick through intangible pages. The only cure is indulging my fetish and buying more books. I know. What a terrible condition to suffer from, eh?

So that is how I came across “0.4”. I was in Tesco, buying sugary treats for my writers’ club, when I saw the most beautiful stickers in the world, adorning all the books on the YA shelves. Buy One Get One Free. *Happy sigh*

After browsing for far too long, I chose Divergent, by Veronica Roth (I haven’t read it yet, but as soon as I do, I’ll let you know my review-shaped-thoughts), and 0.4, by Mike Lancaster. I had a whole two hours to kill before starting work so I proceeded to Maccie D’s, bought a coffee and parked up in a quiet spot to enjoy some peace. Within those two hours, I read through the entirety of Lancaster’s book. It’s a quick and easy read, but pretty damned good, nonetheless.

I’ve always been a fan of dystopian fiction, and the book’s Huxley-esque tagline, “It’s a brave new world”, appealed to me. Furthermore, I’m a classic horror fanatic and I love a good yarn about body-snatchers! This book combines these two loves and adds in a few lovely little twists, keeping it fresh.

“My name is Kyle Straker. And I don’t exist anymore.” So begins the story of Kyle Straker. He records his story over old Dire Straits cassettes and the use of this analogue technology is important to the tale. The story takes up four tapes, so it was never going to be an epic tale, but within those for transcribed sides is the story of how humanity changes forever.

It’s hard to say much about this book without giving too much away, and I really don’t want to ruin the twist for you. So I’ll just say a few things.

The book is set out to be a historical document. As such, there are addendums and footnotes from a future civilization of humanity which add to the strangeness of the text. These little notes also emphasise the idea that humanity has forgotten so much of what it once treasured. (The note on the Teletubbies: a “pantheon of gods, exclusively worshiped by children (sic)” was hilarious).

The conflict of the story erupts when Kyle and three of his acquaintances are hypnotised during their village fayre. When they regain consciousness, these four individuals are confronted by the realisation that everyone they have ever known and loved is suddenly not…quite…right.

I expected a tale of “pod people” and “body-snatchers” to ensue, but 0.4 thinks outside that box. It looks at the idea of technological and human advancement in a way which I found intriguing.

I’m going to give away too much if I go on, so I shall wrap things up. I really enjoyed this quick and entertaining read. While it may be short, there is depth to the story which adds to its charm. Furthermore, the devices used by Lancaster are wonderfully and wittily employed. I would particularly recommend this book to any young, male readers you might be struggling to engage in your lives, classes and libraries!

Lx

UPDATE: Writing A Story, A Sentence At A Time.

This is something that I’d really like people to get involved in. Line by line, I’d like my lovely followers to write a short, collaborative story. It can be silly and nonsensical if you like, just get involved! It’ll be a slow process as I have all of 11 followers so far (hey, it’s still early days!), but you can post more than once as long as you don’t post two sentences consecutively.

 Come on, all you brilliant inspired people! Get commenting!

 THE FIRST SENTENCE:

As soon as Jack awoke to the irksome beeping of his alarm clock, he knew it was going to be a bad day.

Anna

He could hear the rain beating against the window as he stared at the ceiling and fought the urge to hit the snooze button.

Phil

But then he realised that he smashed his alarm clock against the wall three mornings ago, and wondered what in the world this devilish new disturbance could be.

hopscotch85 

Suddenly afraid, he peeled back the duvet and edged his toes tentatively towards the floorboards.

lawi85

What the hell was that god-awful noise and where was it coming from?

Sheilz

Not to mention, that god awful smell?

Nick

Jack slowly shuffled across his room waking a little more with each steep until suddenly there was a roar outside his door and a bad day suddenly seemed to be getting a lot worse.

lawi85

When he reached out and opened his bedroom door, what he should have seen beyond was his upstairs landing; the ugly green carpet he’d not yet got around to changing; the black and white print of New York hanging on the wall; the window overlooking his unkempt front garden.

hopscotch85

Instead, he could not believe his eyes.

lawi85

It wasn’t his landing, wasn’t even his WORLD that he saw beyond the doorway.

Nick

He figured that he must still be dreaming, that was the only explanation for the impossible landscape which had somehow manifested itself in his usually rather dull hallway.

Anna

The noise that he had mistaken for his alarm clock still chimed across the barren landscape before him.

Sheilz

But there was no mistaking the smell.

lawi85

The thunderous odour of manure assaulted him along with the summer-sweet smell of sunshine and dry grass.

Nick

Vast planes of dry grassland stretched out to the horizon and Jack had to ask himself if he was really awake, or just insane.

Papa Bear

With the belief that insanity was the best option he took a step forward.

lawi85

That was all it took for Jack to lose everything he had, everything he knew: a single step.

Algernon

Dust started to surround him, swirling up in thick streams.

lawi85

As it brushed against the skin of his bare legs, Jack felt his skin prickle uncomfortably, as though he were being bitten by vicious insects.

Anna

Without hesitation, he walked forward, eager to see what this new world could bring.

lawi85

A warm rush of dusty air gusted at his back and he knew what had happened without having to turn around and check.

Algernon

His shadow stretched in front of him as the temperature began to rise.

lawi85

The door behind him was closed, just as he had known it would be, so he did all he could do and set out to see what this brave new world might hold.

Scamp, Peruser of the Tomes

As he walked, and breathed in the rich air of the grasslands he began to wonder.

A Song To Make You Laugh.

I have recently discovered The Lonely Island, a funny-as-fudge band with hilarious songs and videos. Titles include, “I just had sex”, “Jizz in my pants”, “Motherlover” and “Cool guys don’t look at explosions”.

Take a look and a listen!

I Just Had Sex, (feat. Akon)

Jizz In My Pants

Mother Lover, (feat. Justin Timberlake)

Cool Guys Don’t Look at Explosions, (feat. Will Ferrell)

Tell me what you think and go buy the album!

Lx

Lucky Numbers.

What is your lucky number? Why?

Can you take your lucky number and write a piece in as many words?

For example, my lucky number is six so I shall write a six-word story!

All I have left is forever.

I’d love to see what y’all come up with!

Lx

Motto Madness!

Hakuna Matata ain’t such a bad motto as far as they go, don’t you think? No worries. It’s a philosophy I need to adopt more often!

What I’m wondering today is what motto gets you through the day? What little clichés to you mutter to yourself to shrug the weights off your shoulders, and plough on through ’til you get to sit on your couch, put up your feet and crack open a cold one?

On the front page of this blog is another of the little quotes which I find inspiring. “You are pure potential”, by Martin de Maat.  I like to remind the kiddies in my classes of this one, and they all seem to like it. Of course it also brings to mind the following physics joke:

My teacher told me I had a lot of potential… …then he dropped me off the roof.”

I thought this was hilarious when I heard it, but everyone I’ve shared it with has hung their heads and groaned as if they were in true physical anguish. 

Anyway! I am on a motto hunt. Help me out peeps!

Lx