Grimm Re-Imaginings

In my upper school writers’ club this week, the team and I are going to be re-imagining fairy tales for an adult audience. We’re going to take the Grimm tales and make them even more grim, so to speak. I’m hoping to post some of the work here after they’ve finished, but for now I’m hoping to inspire.

If YOU had to re-write a fairytale for an adult audience, what would you do? Would the big-bad-wolf in Little Red Ridinghood be an abusive father? Would Hansel and Gretel be so high on hallucinogens that they imagined a gingerbread house? Would Cindarella’s prince have a weird foot fetish?

Take the dark tales of childhood and warp them to match the fears of adulthood. What do you get?



UPDATE: Writing A Story, A Sentence At A Time.

This is something that I’d really like people to get involved in. Line by line, I’d like my lovely followers to write a short, collaborative story. It can be silly and nonsensical if you like, just get involved! It’ll be a slow process as I have all of 11 followers so far (hey, it’s still early days!), but you can post more than once as long as you don’t post two sentences consecutively.

 Come on, all you brilliant inspired people! Get commenting!


As soon as Jack awoke to the irksome beeping of his alarm clock, he knew it was going to be a bad day.


He could hear the rain beating against the window as he stared at the ceiling and fought the urge to hit the snooze button.


But then he realised that he smashed his alarm clock against the wall three mornings ago, and wondered what in the world this devilish new disturbance could be.


Suddenly afraid, he peeled back the duvet and edged his toes tentatively towards the floorboards.


What the hell was that god-awful noise and where was it coming from?


Not to mention, that god awful smell?


Jack slowly shuffled across his room waking a little more with each steep until suddenly there was a roar outside his door and a bad day suddenly seemed to be getting a lot worse.


When he reached out and opened his bedroom door, what he should have seen beyond was his upstairs landing; the ugly green carpet he’d not yet got around to changing; the black and white print of New York hanging on the wall; the window overlooking his unkempt front garden.


Instead, he could not believe his eyes.


It wasn’t his landing, wasn’t even his WORLD that he saw beyond the doorway.


He figured that he must still be dreaming, that was the only explanation for the impossible landscape which had somehow manifested itself in his usually rather dull hallway.


The noise that he had mistaken for his alarm clock still chimed across the barren landscape before him.


But there was no mistaking the smell.


The thunderous odour of manure assaulted him along with the summer-sweet smell of sunshine and dry grass.


Vast planes of dry grassland stretched out to the horizon and Jack had to ask himself if he was really awake, or just insane.

Papa Bear

With the belief that insanity was the best option he took a step forward.


That was all it took for Jack to lose everything he had, everything he knew: a single step.


Dust started to surround him, swirling up in thick streams.


As it brushed against the skin of his bare legs, Jack felt his skin prickle uncomfortably, as though he were being bitten by vicious insects.


Without hesitation, he walked forward, eager to see what this new world could bring.


A warm rush of dusty air gusted at his back and he knew what had happened without having to turn around and check.


His shadow stretched in front of him as the temperature began to rise.


The door behind him was closed, just as he had known it would be, so he did all he could do and set out to see what this brave new world might hold.

Scamp, Peruser of the Tomes

As he walked, and breathed in the rich air of the grasslands he began to wonder.

The “Waste of Life” list!

There are some things in this world which just make you feel like the life is being sucked out of you by some kind of tedious leech. The following things (and, in future, I’m sure more will be added) make my “Waste of Life” list!


I just don’t do it unless it is absolutely necessary. I can’t stand ironing and think I would rather iron my face than face a pile of laundry a few times per week.

Emptying the dishwasher.

When I was a kid I dreamed of having a dishwasher. Dad always made the same joke: “We do have a dishwasher. It’s you.”

Now I’m all growed up and have a shiny dishwasher all of my own! 🙂 But where I used to resent the whole process of washing dishes, I now resent the fact that my dishwasher doesn’t have a button to put all of the dishes away in the cupboards!


Cardboard has more flavour. You know you want some nice crispy bacon, or maybe some fresh, juicy chicken. How about a succulent steak? Every mouthful of Quorn just makes me sad inside.

Non Alcoholic Beer.



See above.

Reality TV.

I have my own reality to take care of. Why the hell would I want to watch someone else make a prat of themselves in theirs? Yes it’s fascinating that others seem to be able to live their lives with skin which is a perfect shade of satsuma, but not interesting enough for me to devote ANY time to watching…

“Fun Size” Sweets.

Where is the fun hiding, exactly?! Fun size sweets are SMALLER than the real thing. Surely it’d be more fun if they were 12x bigger than normalImagine a Curly Wurly which you could use as a ladder. That would be fun!

Think of it this way…if ever a guy were to describe his manly parts as “fun size”, you know you would be in for an evening of anything but fun!

What makes YOUR “Waste of Life” list? Comments please! 🙂


To read. To write. To listen to.

There are some films, books and songs which people should make time to see, read and listen to sooner rather than later. Today, I want you each to share the one book, film and song which you cannot imagine having lived without.

While this may seem simple, as I write this my mind is already teaming with different possibilities for each category, and already I’m conflicted about what I’d choose!

The Book. 

There’s a big part of me which wants to say, The Lord of The Rings, but I don’t think that would be an honest answer. I think that the book I would tell everyone to read at some point would be… ummm… The Stand, by Stephen King. Probably… He he he. If you want to know what the other books on the list are, then take a look at:

The Movie.

Okay, be it predictable or not, I can’t help but say The Shawshank Redemption. To me, it is just the PERFECT movie! Check out the trailer:

The Song.

Oooooo… now this IS a toughie. I love music and have fairly eclectic tastes. However, I think that Nina Simone’s Feeling Good, would have to be at least somewhere near the top of the list. Have a listen:

So let is know your recommendations via the comments box, lovely people!


Creative Juice: Written in Blood and Ink.

As a kid, I always thought tattoos were funky and I always knew that I’d want one. I finally got ink after my PGCE. I got “Once upon a time…” around my wrist. Well. That’s what I thought I was getting! Imagine my horror when I got home, took off the bandage around my wrist and saw that my tattoo actually read “One upon a time…”!

LUCKILY, it was fixable and now it reads just fine. You’d think that this experience would put me off having any more tattoos, but no. I also have two hibiscus flowers on my right ankle, and a line from TS Eliot’s The Wasteland down my spine (it reads “A heap of broken images, where the sun beats…”)

What I’m wondering today is:

Do any of you have tattoos? If you do then what are they and why did you choose them? If you don’t, then do you ever want any? If so then what are you thinking of getting? 

Post comments, please! My favourite reply will receive a fabulous free gift =P


P.S. I also think tattoos can tell you a lot about a person. If this is the case, what do mine say about me? =D

P.P.S. This is the ink on my ankle. The others are just a nice italic script.

Creative Seduction.

When I am teaching Romeo and Juliet to year nine, I like to explore the language of love with them. Part of this involves a funny starter activity in which the class shares the funny chat-up lines they know.

So, this week I’d like you to share the worst and thus funniest chat-up lines you’ve ever heard. If the were used on you, then did they work? Were they used by you? And again, how successful were they?

Leave comments please 🙂


P.S. My favourite so far is:

“20 ton penguin …

… … …

… Well I had to “break the ice” somehow.”

How would YOU survive a zombie apocalypse?

Given my recent reading of The Dead, by Charlie Higson, I have been wondering what I might do if faced with an end of the word scenario. And that’s what I’m asking you today.

If you were on the run from zombies, where would you go and what would you do?

Maybe you’d go for the Mall, like in Dawn of the Dead. Maybe you’d rather escape to the countryside and live off the land? Tell me your escape plan so that I can use it myself when Z-Day arrives.

…what I wouldn’t give for a bomb shelter…

(I have this on the wall in my class, next to the fire emergency procedure…)

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